Heavy Love
by ovp
Summary: In the period following Marian's return Regina is visited by many forms of comfort...and surprisingly much of this comfort comes from the most unlikely people. (A look at the unexpected encounters that ease the tortured Queen's soul) Outlaw Queen
1. Encounters

It's the Merry Men who appear at her door first, led by the despondent and sullen Little John who looks at her sadly and politely stands on the stoop. Perhaps it is because he has actually witnessed her change or in fact been rescued by her heroic efforts but he sends her a watery smile, not the wide one he had thrown her way a day ago after Robin had cut her palm, a sign that she belonged to his band. The closest thing to a family she has ever known.

"We're still your family, Regina," he states and the men nod solemnly beside him. She nods, quick bobs of her head because they are not giving her charity they are confirming that she has made the right choice, that she has not thrown away all her effort, and even if her heart cannot have what it desires most not everything has been lost. John inclines his head, "may we?"

She steps aside. Him and another, Arthur she believes, graciously enter. "Don't bother with the shoes," she says as they bend down. "Let us settle everything without dragging this out." They follow her into the living room, it still has the wine and the glasses and remnants of happier times, and they all collectively sigh. Arthur and John sagging inwards into the couch, Regina choosing a decorative, uncomfortable high-backed chair in the corner.

"All we ask is you give him time," begins John. "It is too much. Marian she needs him."

"I understand that, I appreciate that, but I hope you understand that I must decline. I…" she stutters, "I am happy for him and Roland but it's his choice and if my life moves on without him it's mine."

Little John nods slowly hands pressing into his thighs as he stands, "we will always be your allies Regina." He holds out a hand and she shakes it because this is better then all the apologies she has received from the Charmings and everyone else. Perhaps even Robin if she had stayed in the diner to measure his reaction. They do not judge her for she has shown their leader kindness and acceptance even in the face of her own unhappiness.

* * *

The pirate comes next, wretch that he is, he invites himself in silently, sits in her kitchen, drinks from his flask and offers her the bottle. "Liquid courage."

"For whom exactly?"

He shrugs and takes another swing. "Sorry."

"It must have been destiny," sighs Regina and she feels better saying the words because to know it was her destiny to never be loved makes it so much easier to accept, "I was never meant to be happy."

"Neither was I, love." He runs his ringed fingers over his lips in a shadow of remembrance. "Perhaps it will all work out."

"Perhaps you've been reading too many fairytales."

"I've lived it."

"And are a hero for it. Escapades now written," she interrupts, "yet I still remain the villain. My story, the same. It is better this way," she decides crossing her arms protectively across her chest. "It never would have worked."

"You might have killed the lass."

"You knocked her unconscious and brought her to a different timeline."

"Yes, well as a hero I say we did the right thing, as a friend I'll walk beside you to the bitter end of this mess. Rum, love?" He offers the flask again a smirk of satisfaction on his face when she drinks it and wonders how her relationship with everyone had become so complicated.

* * *

The next to come are the most surprisingly, as the happy couple the imp and the maid stand at her door. "If you're here to rub salt in my wounds over some petty little imprisonment I'd rather you leave now."

"Dearie I'm a changed man."

"And I'm a fairy godmother." She responds flatly granting them entry.

"In a way, you did reunite us," comments Belle fiddling happily with the ring on her finger, "many times."

"Please. Spare me."

"So you fell in love with an archer, admirable."

"You fell in love with a maid." The two great magic wielders share a look, it sparks between them.

"It will all end well," says Rumple wisely. Regina snorts.

"Is this your foresight talking or a fortune cookie?"

Belle smiles widely. "Perhaps I should make dinner. Meat pie, wine?" There's a pause and again a look is shared. Regina shrugs.

"Perhaps you should."

* * *

It's only been two days. It still aches, it all still aches, but she's run out of groceries and it has been long enough. There is an arrow stuck in her door and for a man who claims he never misses, missed opportunities appear to follow him around and he also appears to have lost his most valuable item if Roland sitting on her stoop is any indication.

"Gina!" He smiles.

"Roland," she says sitting beside him, "what are you doing?"

"You live here." He gestures at the great white house.

"I do." He scrunches up his face as if confused before letting out a deep sigh.

"Papa told me to stay with Little John while he discusses things with…mommy but John is so boring. I want to stay with you." Regina can only imagine what the Merry Men are going through searching for the boy and it eases her pain somewhat to know that soon this will all end, a decision will be made, and she'll be set free from this space of awkward indecision she resides in.

"The arrow," she asks picking up the child and placing him on her hip.

"Papa wrote you a letter, Little John told him not to, he did it anyway," whispers Roland hands curling around her neck and sharing the words as if they were a secret. She squeezes her eyes closed already walking towards the diner where she knows Little John is staying. "It's a long letter." He continues conspiratorially.

Regina closes her eyes tight. A decision must have been made then. Closure at last perhaps but she'll read it later safe in her house after she picks up some Californian wine and some ice cream and makes peace with just another unfulfilled chapter in her life.

She bumps into Little John halfway to Granny's and his look of relief is great. "You terrible terror you have nearly given me a heart attack." Roland giggles at the huffing, bulky man.

"I found Regina."

"Aye lad you did." John looks apologetic and Regina is just tired. "Thank you. For finding him."

"He found me," she clarifies smiling slightly. "Reminded me I probably need to go outside in the sunshine."

"It will take time," says John hoisting the boy over a shoulder Roland lets out a peel of laughter.

"I understand the_** outlaw**_," she can call him Robin no longer, "has written me a letter."

The man before her looks heavenwards, "Gods above will he never listen always trying to set everything right and out of order all at once."

"Pardon?"

"Just when you read it do not judge him harshly, I think there is much in it that is just him trying to figure out his own feelings."

"He pinned it to my door."

"Would you believe he was aiming for your open bedroom window?" The laugh companionably and Regina thinks perhaps it is good that she has affected as good a man as Robin so much so that his aim is faulty. Still evil after all.

"I see why Zelena kept you as a flying monkey."

John visibly shivers and Roland quakes upon his shoulder. "Do not talk of that time."

"How about I buy you two banana pancakes at Granny's?"

"Now you are just being cruel." She's on the mend and perhaps her destiny was never Robin, or at least at this moment he not hers, but for once she is not alone and perhaps that is the greatest love of all. Because she may mourn alone but now there are many who support her.


	2. Revelations

The letter is a mess. It's pages upon pages of scribbled out lines and dark crumpled creases from being gripped too tightly by sweaty palms. She sits in her kitchen smoothing out the creases and rereading the lines she can manage to decipher. _'This is not how things are supposed to be.' 'What am I do, honor binds me?'_ She snorts at that one. **_Honor, _**she sips the Californian wine before her, is not an emotion she knows much of or cares for. It appears to only make good people bound to very silly situations. _'I still love you. So much.'_ The ink smudges beneath her fingertips as she gently traces the rough prose, rueful smile in place.

The letter makes it hard for her to be angry and she struggles to find some emotion on which to cling. Because she doesn't want to be angry, miserable, and lecherous, she wants to be better then that if not Henry then for Robin. Her second chance that will never be hers, but that doesn't mean the future won't bring her another. She wants to be Regina, the broken, tired, distrusting yet radiant, stunning, audacious woman who had won the love of the world's most notorious archer.

It's an impossible situation.

She could burn the damnable thing and forget this, let his feelings become fuel and fall to ashy ruins, but he holds such a dear place in her heart that she might as well light herself on fire.

* * *

_They're good men._ Regina thinks as Little John sits patiently across from her two weeks later watching as she lifts her fork to her mouth. It amuses her that he frowns every time the food drops back on her plate untouched. Roland on the other hand, tucked tightly against her side, has devoured his breakfast with gusto and is now animatedly retelling his latest adventure in the snow.

"You're not eating." Mouths John worry evident in his eyes but not his expression.

"You're watching me," she mouths back rolling her eyes.

"Gina?" She blinks again focusing her attention on the smallest Merry Man. "Do you love papa?" She inhales sharply the man before her nearly drops his coffee mug on the table and by some wretched circumstance Ruby is also at the table pouring Roland more orange juice.

She takes a dry heave and Ruby is fluttering at the edge of the table nervously. "Your father and I…it's very complicated."

Roland frowns, the gears turning in his head before her eyes. "Papa loves me," he begins and nods satisfied with his assessment, "and mommy loves me. Mommy and Papa kiss," Regina feels the struggling smile on her face fall and she grips the edge of the table fiercely. "You and Papa kiss, so you must love him?" She bolts upright the silverware shaking as she scrambles out of the booth, raising a hand to stop Little John from standing. He's watched the entire exchange with growing alarm and appears ready with answer, what it is she'll never know.

"Roland, I," she drops to her knees before him and holding his cheeks with delicate care as she attempts to explain to a small child why she can't see his papa anymore. "I care about you greatly and deeply, my littlest knight, you are my bravest warrior but your father and I will," she closes her eyes and sees their final kiss just outside the doors of this very diner, so deep and warm and full of promise, "never kiss again. That's what mamas and papas do but sometimes you can care about someone just as much. Kissing is extra." The boy studies her eyes boring into hers. He looks so confused and she imagines he must be, the return of a mother his has been denied time with, the sudden disappearance of the woman he has known for the past year, and his father's complicated relationship with both. But in a few moments he smiles at her and takes his glass of orange juice into his hands and Regina let's out a relieved sigh despite the condensation that has settled with frustrating speed and ease into the corners of her eyes. "I'm going to the bathroom," she addresses Little John before turning and slipping away into the sanctuary of the private space where she can stare into her exhausted expression and let the tears flow.

Ruby slips in behind her, comically still holding the juice pitcher.

"We may have had our differences Regina but you're a pretty cool person when you want to be," Ruby says to her reflection.

"Careful. Complimenting me may cause Granny to have to shoot an arrow at you."

Ruby shakes her head and sighs. "I'd say you deserve this but I don't think anyone deserves this."

"Two in a row?"

"It's on the house today." The werewolf smirks shifting her weight on her hips. "I will adamantly deny this later but I hope someday you are happy."

"I hope so too," whispers Regina sending her a fleeting grateful smile as the waitress leaves and she checks her makeup for evidence and satisfied she steps out only to feel her blood run cold.

Marian and Robin are now sitting in the booth, Roland squashed between them, Little John sits across gently talking to Marian and it looks so perfect like a commercial or a tacky Christmas card. They're laughing and smiling and she's the outsider looking in on dinner and she can't be that person. So she closes her eyes and firmly reprimands herself for thinking she belonged to that picture, because she doesn't, and she leaves through the back exit after tossing the sympathetic Ruby some cash.

* * *

"Can't you do something about this snow?" Emma complains the minute Regina opens her door. They haven't spoken since the time travel incident and she isn't ready to start conversing with one of the banes of her existence. They both hear Henry stomp upstairs behind her.

"You're the Saviour," she sneers tiredly. "Melt it. Save them. It's what _**you**_ do."

"I can't! It just keeps falling!"

"Well then I doubt there's anything different I can do. Salt your walkways, shovel your paths and watch out for black ice is what I would recommend."

"This weather isn't natural." The voice is suspicious and Regina glares; no one accuses her of using magic on her own stoop. Besides her emotions have been too battered for her to produce this kind of storm, she doesn't possess her previous rage and one of her current sources of emotional fodder is happy somewhere else. It's not in her to bury them in snow.

"Maybe you're causing it," Regina jabs gesturing towards the snow. "Your guilt perhaps or your insufferable doe eyes at the pirate." She doesn't care that Emma sends her a hurt expression as she closes the door. "Good night, Ms. Swan."

* * *

"It's true love," Tinkerbell reminds her as she sits at the island in Regina's kitchen spoon disappearing into a tub of Ben and Jerry's.

The monarch's eyebrows crease as she pulls an apple pie out of the oven. She's made it with Zelena's apples, so at least the bitterness with match her mood. "As stimulating as this conversation is I asked you over because of the six feet of snow that has appeared overnight not the state of my love life."

"Maybe you're causing it?" The fairy suggests. "All magic is fueled by emotion."

"Trust me, if this was some passive aggressive destruction on my part, we'd be roasted not frosted." She's already been accused for this weather, which isn't really fair because she's a hero now, but all people still see is a witch.

"Magic snow?" The fairy muses.

"Not magic snow," snaps Regina, "snow fueled by magic. It's _**May**_. Maine might not be glamorous but it's not Antarctica either, this is a serious problem. There are people living in the woods!"

"So this is about Robin?" Says Tinkerbell a self-satisfied smirk blossoming on her face.

"This is about the Merry Men," she grits out, "and the fact that they are outside in freezing temperatures."

"Merry Men, Robin, are they not one and the same?"

"No they are not."

"Well the convent has room."

"Good. Settled then. Pie?"

"I will never understand why you deny yourself happiness."

"Because," emphasizes the Queen in an attempt to shut her up, "my happiness is married and already happy."

"Looks may be deceiving."

"Still married though." She slams a plate with a piece of warm pie before the fairy.

"I have never actually considered what the marital status of an individual whose spouse has come back from the dead would be." The blonde says taking a hefty bite.

"Attached," states Regina taking her own plate. "They'd be attached."

"It's bitter." Regina for once thinks that Tinkerbell couldn't be more right.

* * *

"It's _**Elsa**_." Regina blinks blearily at that the frantic man on her doorstep at two in the morning trying to figure out what he is even doing here. He's clearly got the wrong house if he wants to alert people of this development; she's the evil witch not the savior and she'd really love to be asleep.

"So? Go tell the Charmings," she responds sleepily even as Rumpelstilskin pushes his way inside. "They'll rally the troops or whatever they do."

"That is not the problem." The imp looks around wildly. "Do you remember Elsa?"

"Of course I do it took us days to calm her enough so that she would agree to accompany us to the Enchanted Forest for you to train her." The poor girl had been so desperate and confused and unable to control her powers that she had called on the Dark One to help, to train her, to curse her, to somehow take them away and as his current apprentice it had been a field trip of sorts for her; to see another realm to understand the true devastating consequences of uninhibited power. "Why has she left Arendelle?" She runs a tired hand down her face. Shivering as she recalls just how troubled the poor kingdom had been. Then there had been the issue of convincing the Snow Queen to store herself in an urn so they could safely transport her and remove the snow that had covered her land. "What could she possibly want with Storybrooke?" And then like so many things where Rumple was concerned she knew.

"You never let her out." It is a statement not a question. She had trusted Rumple to train her, never asked after the girl again already too consumed in her quest for vengeance.

"No."

"You kept that poor girl in an urn for thirty years."

"She was my vault," the imp defends. "Perfectly harmless."

"You put her in an urn and placed her in your closet for thirty years." She's alert now and seriously questioning why she continues to associate with this incredibly stupid man. "Your foresight couldn't see this coming?" She gestures toward the window where snow has reached the sill.

"You're part of this too, dearie." He's right. As usual. Elsa is going to be no more happy to see her then Rumple, and probably less so when she realizes that Regina had forgotten about her. She supposes it was about time someone tried to kill her.

"Well I suppose you have a plan?" She should have expected the devilish grin that split his face.

* * *

_Here you go everyone. Hope you enjoy it. Thank you for the lovely reviews and comments._

**PrincessofSea: **I'm glad you enjoyed the relationships/friendships I've developed. I doubt I will make this a Hooked Queen piece, beyond friendship, but I will try to incorporate some of Robin's reactions to Regina interacting with other males.

**4Lit: **Thank you for the lovely feedback. I really hope in season 4 we get to see more of the Merry Men, especially with the return of Marian and Will Scarlet I feel like this band has been under utilized. All the best.

**scifigrrl: **Thank you.

**SweetieR: **I'll try to update consistently but no promises. Life is a bit hectic right now. Please continue to enjoy :)

**Cat: **Thank you very much. I feel that Regina deserves a support system because she's not the same person anymore. I look forward to more of your feedback.

**HeroineGuaddess: **Enjoy :)


	3. Dips

"I'm fine Snow," assures Regina as she crosses her arms stubbornly in the hospital bed. The look Mary Margret sends her could freeze ice. Even Neal's peels of happy laughter as he bounces on David's knee does nothing to ease the somber mood of the room.

"You nearly drowned Regina." She sighs shaking her head. "And don't get me started on the frostbite and hypothermia."

"Again. Easily treatable." Though a cold dip in the Atlantic Ocean was not what she had been expecting when her and Rumpelstilskin had gone to find Elsa. Neither was the good six inches of ice Elsa had frozen above them after tossing them in. It had taken their combined efforts to even manage to transport themselves oxygen deprived, freezing, and soaking wet right into the morning rush at Granny's, where they had landed unceremoniously on the food laden counter before rolling off onto the ground.

"What were you two even thinking?"

"That is something I would like to know as well," a new voice adds and Regina shivers for completely different reasons then the cold.

Robin Hood towers in the doorway looking absolutely murderous and of course Snow White and David get up and leave, probably their own silent form of punishment. Well damn them and damn him. "Regina, what did you do?"

"I think that is fairly obvious; I fell in the ocean."

"Gods, why would you go and confront her alone?"

"I wasn't alone."

"The imp does not count. You might as well have taken a chair for all the help he provided." Regina snorts because it is partially true, Elsa had basically frozen his limbs on sight making him a massive liability when her rage turned upon the Evil Queen. "Do you find this amusing? People care about you!" He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, "**I** care about you! How could you!?"

She sends him as nasty a glare as she can muster being bedridden. "Care implies caring."

"Oh don't start." He slumps into the chair Snow White had previously occupied. "My wife coming back complicates matters to be sure. I have to do right by her and I'm trying but you make things impossible."

"I'm sorry for ruining your breakfast." She snaps, distinctly remembering his frantic eyes as she had slammed into the counter, most likely containing his family's meal, before bouncing off half into his lap and half onto the floor. Graceless, tactless, she should have stayed in the ocean.

"If you think this is about ruined scrambled eggs then you are more fool then I took you for." It aches for her to look at his distraught expression as if he can still see the horrors of her limp body hitting marble over and over again. "Roland cried over you. Most of us did." She thinks she can remember the cries. Maybe. The shrill scream of Snow White, the shocked gasp of Emma, the unending wail of Roland as he lay across her chest sobbing.

They sit in stoney silence. Regina is not going to apologize and Robin will not make her. The archer closes his eyes tightly running a tired hand down his face before sighing. He stands and chuckles at the relief that washes unbidden over her face. "Don't look so relieved."

"Why?" she asks defensively. Robin sends her an easy smile throwing the door open and Little John, clasping a desperately squirming Roland shuffles in. Relief shines in the larger man's eyes as he spies her and the boy sails from his arms.

"Regina!" Roland claws his way up the side of the bed until he's in Regina's lap, face buried in her neck, fingers tangled in her hair. But behind the bulky man is another person, the last person she had ever expected to see. Ever. Marian steps into the room and with measured steps approaches Regina taking her left hand into hers she stares at the faint white scar which lies on her palm there, before meeting the Queen's darting, terrified, gaze.

She nods satisfied and smiles wanly before taking the unoccupied seat across from Robin on the other side of the bed. The monarch just stares at her, tongue heavy and large. She's sitting with the enemy and she can't escape. She doesn't have one iota of magical energy within her. Then the Merry Men file in, as if she is on some sort of funeral pyre, hats off, heads bowed, and it is ridiculous she thinks because she is alive and most assuredly not dead.

But then they toss off their jackets with raucous laughter and they are holding alcohol and food, much better then anything the hospital could provide. They fill the room with their presence pushing away all the misery that has been dragging her down for weeks.

It is strangest and warmest she has felt since Emma's trip from the past, even with Marian on her left, Robin on her right, and Roland snuggled and giggling in her lap as the men sing obscene songs and ply her with whiskey; it warms her and makes her stomach smoulder with comfort.

Perhaps normalcy is possible, even in a town like Storybrooke.

* * *

She walks home between Emma and Henry. Trudges, more like, the snow is so deep it's nearly impossible to traverse. Henry refuses to look at the blonde and blonde won't say anything to break the tense silence. Regina knows that her son had not been pleased with Emma's meddling, spending a week with her in stubborn defiance, until he had begrudgingly gone with his biological mother to settle in their new apartment.

She really doesn't want to have to be this person. "You two are acting like children."

"I am a child," counters Henry obstinately arms crossed ears peeking outside his hat, though she had told him to wear the toque properly, it was dangerously cold.

"Wear your hat properly, kid," barks Emma beside her, reaching across and slamming the hat down with her hand. "God. I'm sorry." She throws her hands up in the air in defeat.

"It's not good enough," grouses the boy arms crossed. "You ruined her life."

"I think I get to decide whether my life is ruined or not," Regina attempts to joke.

"You almost died."

"I've been almost dying for years." Henry glares and Regina manages a weak smile and gives a shoulder roll. "Probably be dead by now if it wasn't for Ms. Swan or do you go by Jones now?"

"You're not funny Regina." Emma gripes rolling her eyes.

"No I'm not," she concedes, "but I would appreciate if you two could at least act like adults." She looks ahead steadfastly. "Regardless of what has happened, Henry, I don't need you to fight my battles for me. Besides this is what I deserve."

"But it's not!" he protests earnestly. "You deserve so much more then this."

"Well perhaps sunshine would be nice," chuckles Regina. "Too bad Elsa didn't have powers to bring nice weather to Maine." Both companions snort.

"Like white sand."

"Or palm trees."

Henry slips between the two women and his hand slides into hers and squeezes. Silent comfort and support, she squeezes back and thinks of warm fireplaces and fleeting touches that abate the unending darkness, lips dancing in unison - but she realizes that those aren't hers to have so she'll have this instead.

"I love you Henry."

_**"Mom."**_ But he smiles anyways.

* * *

**scifigrrl: **Yes, Regina, is so optimistic. I'm glad you enjoyed the line :)

**PrincessofSea: **I'm glad you enjoyed it. Sorry about the Hooked Queen but I like exploring the relationships that Regina can develop with all the other characters in Storybrooke. There will hopefully be more interactions with Hook though.

**Mal: **I don't want to reveal anything about Elsa just yet but I think you'll like where it's going.

**pirateofpenzance: **Thank you :)


	4. Disclosure

Life goes on she supposes. It's been nearly two months. It's supposed to be June, almost July, and she's trapped in a winter wonderland.

Elsa doesn't come hunting for her or Rumple but the snow keeps falling, to an almost comical degree. But at the same time it's terrifying. Roadways are blocked, power supplies are wavering. It's too cold. There's too much snow and Regina is surprised when Leroy of all people offers to help bring her groceries to her car.

There are no words. Just deafening silence. She spies Little John and Marian across the street carefully picking their way through the precarious drifts. John smiles and waves at her, other hand carefully placed on the maid's lower back as he guides her.

Even as Leroy deposits her groceries in her trunk she catches a wane smile from Marian, and the scar on her palm burns; because the woman who smiles quietly at her has one too; as do all the Merry Men. And she doesn't deserve it.

"Is it true what they say, Mills," asks Leroy gruffly slamming the trunk closed, "frozen hearts need acts of true love to thaw?"

"I don't know, dwarf." She sees less of Robin now and it's easier to breathe. "I don't know."

* * *

Of all the unexpected things Regina had ever anticipated happening in her life, having coffee with the Mad Hatter at her kitchen table was not one of them. At this point the freezing ice and rain has knocked out most of the utilities in Storybrooke and only the combined magical energy of her, Rumple, and Emma was managing to keep the school, convent, hospital, Granny's and her own home heated and lit. Many of the residents were being forced to evacuate their homes to one of those locations and in a surprise twist Jefferson had shown up on her doorstep first. Though his statement that she owed him was mostly accurate as she begrudgingly let him in.

"I've never realized how huge your house is," he comments as he sips tea across from her, some exotic blend that smells revolting but he appears to greatly enjoy.

"I will also point out that it's empty."

He sends her a wry glance over the rim of his cup. "So was my apartment. Nothing quite like being the outsider looking in, eh?" She hears Grace and Henry upstairs studying because even though they are literally buried in snow life must go on, and Henry, she's so happy he's tutoring the girl in math and he's got those dream filled eyes that remind her of youth and happiness. He is growing up so fast. "If we become in-laws," Hatter says suddenly already having observed many of their children's interactions. "I shall eat my hat."

"It may taste better then whatever it is you're drinking," she states dryly drinking her warm apple cider.

"Shh," murmurs Jefferson petting the tea cup, "she didn't mean that." Regina rolls her eyes.

"I am sorry…for what I did to you."

The man across from her raises an eyebrow and stares at his cup. "Perhaps this is more potent then I thought. I'm hallucinating."

"Ass." He lifts his glass towards her before lowering it.

"At least your heart gets broken in style. Wife back from the dead classy."

"Ass." The shrill ring of the doorbell halts the conversation and the monarch suspects it must be the Charmings and all of Snow's shoes outside in the snow.

"Allow me, majesty," chuckles Jefferson standing and giving an exaggerated bow. It doesn't hurt as much to be called such, it aches, but it's bearable and nice in a way. She could love Hatter. She could if she really tried. It'd be easy and safe. They're cut from the same deceitful cloth and she doesn't have to pretend around him. She finishes her cider. Her life would be so much easier if she could love someone else.

"Who are you?" She freezes at the suspicious yet painfully familiar voice, completely flummoxed at why Robin of all people is standing outside. There's a scuffle and then Robin stalks into the kitchen and the Queen sits there staring at him.

"You're getting snow on my floor," she notes waving at his slush covered shoes. He pointedly ignores the comment.

"Is…" Robin looks wildly around the room as if Regina might be hiding something, "is this a date?"

"Gods, no," laughs Jefferson clapping him on the shoulder, instantly regretting it when his hand is forcefully shrugged off, "just libations between friends." Robin looks at her for some form of confirmation. He's looking in the wrong place. She's not above making a man jealous, especially when she's done nothing wrong. She doesn't have to explain herself to Robin Hood. Hatter sends her an impressed look over the larger man's shoulder.

"Still got them begging on their knees." He mouths. Regina resists the smile that the comment elicits especially as Robin takes another dangerous step forward. He appears angry, almost looks betrayed, she smirks vindictively. Good let him be angry. He could use something going wrong in his perfect little life, a life where he gets what he lost back. She blinks back the evil grin that threatens to engulf her face. She's not that person. She won't be.

"Be that as it may," says Regina. "Why are you here, _thief_?"

"I came to talk to you about accommodations." He responds warily as Jefferson goes to stand beside the brunette.

"You're staying at the convent."

"No," states Robin stubbornly stepping half between her and Jefferson. "We're staying here." She's already promised rooms to the Charmings, Emma and her pirate, naturally Henry, and Rumpelstilskin and Belle; she has more then enough room for Robin's family and his men provided some are willing to sleep on the floor. However, there is an underlying current to this conversation and she does not appreciate his assertive attitude when she is still struggling to get a grip on her emotions.

"Why?"

"Because the witch is out to get you."

"And you're going to what? Defend me with pointy sticks? Besides you just said it, Elsa wants me. You need to stay as far away from me as possible. You can't risk your family." Robin shakes his head.

"And is he to defend you? The Merry Men and I, we are your allies!"

"If we are getting technical, I knew the Queen first," interjects Jefferson inserting himself into the heated conversation. "Since I will be staying here as well as the Charmings Regina will be more then looked after."

"You'll be staying here?" Is the suspicious yet quick response.

"Yes." Jefferson simpers and Regina honestly wonders why he is antagonizing Robin. He radiates the aura of an overprotective brother and the Queen wonders when he adopted such a role; given their previous relationship. "Perfectly PG." Robin does not appear to understand the reference as he narrows his eyes.

"I will be returning with the men in half an hour," his tone is even and definite, "or less." He intensely looks between them eyes alert appraising them before he leaves the room with heavy steps.

"You," she snaps rounding on the soon to be re-beheaded asylum patient, "you did the exact opposite of what I wanted!" Robin's gone off to apparently collect his tribe to move into her house and Jefferson had incurred it.

"Did I really?" he asks smugly sitting back down and picking up his cup again.

"Yes!"

"Well," he says contemplatively, silly wide grin adorning his face, "we'll see then shall we."

* * *

Many strange things have happened to Regina over her lifetime but finding her home host to basically every single one of her enemies and awkward acquaintances is pretty disconcerting. Perhaps what is more disconcerting is of the two rooms Regina had prepared for the Locksleys - one for Roland and one for his parents - their sleeping arrangements appear to be Robin and Roland in one room and Marian alone; but even as she watches them settle into separate rooms Regina cannot shake the feeling that this is all too convenient and that hope is not something she should let fester.

So instead she busies herself with hosting her guests: cooking, cleaning, planning, telling the Merry Men to stop dragging snow across her floor. Never had her dining table actually been host to more then two occupants but now it is crowded with too many chairs being dragged from every available room making the space more warm and inviting then she had ever thought possible.

The situation with Elsa is terrible, miserable in fact, but she can't help but indulge in the merriment a house full of people brings and after dinner two nights following everyone's arrival all her meticulously placed furniture is stacked in the corner creating a space for some of the couples to dance, which is fairly amusing as Hook enjoys the way Emma dances (grinds and writhes) to up-tempo songs but fails to catch on to the completely cheesy dance moves, like the macarena, which even the Charmings appear to have mastered. That's what she gets for landing Storybrooke in the 80s.

But the stiff lipped Queen does not participate in the festivities instead clearing dishes and smiling as Roland tumbles and bumbles between adult legs in a happy dance of giggles and laughter. A child's laughter has been desperately lacking in her life and she feels an immense sense of comfort as she flits between rooms at least until she stumbles into her darkened living room and finds Marian engaged in a loving lip lock with the male occupant of the couch.

To her credit Regina does not make a sound merely pressing hands quickly over her mouth to hold back her exclamation. She's frozen taking in the scene before her, mind running miles a minute as she tries to process everything, tries and fails to breathe properly. But a gentle hand encloses her wrist and tugs her backwards out of the room, moving the couple away from her line of sight and too stunned to even begin to process her emotions she turns and finds the gentle, blue eyes of Robin Hood.

"Your best friend is kissing your wife." Regina gapes at him the words vomiting forth from her mouth.

Robin sends her an amused eyebrow raise. "At least it is not Friar Tuck, I do believe as a man of the cloth such an exchange would raise questions about his faith."

"How can you joke about this?" she hisses dragging him backwards into the kitchen, away from the oblivious couple. She feels the hot coals of betrayal stoke in her stomach; perhaps for her but more so for Robin, good, perfect, loyal, Robin who loved his wife so much he would walk through hell for her. "That is your wife and she is sucking face with your best friend."

He shrugs. "We have already established this." Regina wants to scream at him, wants to yell and slam him back against the counter, and ask him how can he be so blase about this, how can her being good, stepping aside, lead to this? He's mocking her.

"Can't you keep a hold of your woman!?"

"I do have a hold of her." Regina stares at him mouth agog as she feels his arm cross the right side of her body before his open palm rests securely on her left hip, pulling her backwards into him. "Strong one at that." Her mouth opens and closes in stunned amazement.

"Now Regina," he smiles and she can't see his face but she can feel his lips, as the smile presses against the sensitive skin behind her ear, "are you really together with that Hatter fellow?"

She squirms in his grip but he holds firm dragging her more securely against his body. "Marian and I talked."

"I can't do this," she snaps irately breaking his hold with a sharp pinch of his hand and moving away. She can still hear the music in the background some sort of incredibly cheesy romantic song, from the 80s, and the words she can't hear mumble through her head as she stares and stares at Robin. "I gave up."

"I hope not," he states taking a step closer and suddenly she is trapped between him and the marble countertop and her mind goes blank from the closeness, "because I have not m'lady. Marian has always been a gentle soul she suits Little John now more so then I."

"What are you talking about?"

"I mourned my wife and never doubt her return has brought me happiness but I can't love her. I can't see her as a companion to weather whatever the future storm holds for us because I am a different man, one who faced a hell of loneliness. I have killed people. I have blackmailed and hurt others. Marian never knew me as a killer, as someone who was hardened from life. She's the easy choice, naturally," Regina stiffens in his embrace, "but we don't fit. She can't understand. She has never experienced a loss so deep; when we converse it is like we are speaking different languages. I personally thought I'd never find another person who understood my guilt, who accepted my imperfections, and loved my son. To be sure I am ruggedly handsome," she shivers against him, "able to satisfy my physical needs but _majesty_," he rasps against the shell of her ear, "Marian belongs with someone who can show her the same love she offers and that person is not me. And I, I deserve the person I love."

She is at a loss for words but she realizes bitterly she's crying and she's shed an ocean full of tears over Robin-bloody-thief-Hood so how can she possibly be crying even now…She is buoyed on salt water and her heart beats erratically in her chest, uneven and rapid, and hurts so much it leaves her gasping.

"Now that Marian is settled and she has found companionship in a man that can give her the world she deserves it is time I seek out and steal my own fortunes and Regina I dare say you have the unnerving tendency to get yourself into life threatening situations on a peculiarly often basis and I'll be damned if I lose you again." She softens taking a tentative step forward and letting him draw her into him. "As I have said, you have a partner, even if you didn't ask for one."

"Outlaw," she drawls moving closer but not close enough for him as his hands drop to her waist and pull her forward; hers drop knitting their fingers together at her waist before she steps out of his embrace. "I'll need time."

"I understand."

"Do you?"

"I am not a patient man Regina but for you I will be. I have learned that if one cannot be honorable to one's own heart then everything else means nothing. So I will wait and watch and protect you until you are ready to let me in again. It is what I deserve."

"Neither of us deserve this," she spits spitefully anger resurfacing at the memory of the massive detour their relationship has taken; of how she can no longer trust him with her heart.

"I like to think of this as another opportunity to steal your heart."

"You lost it last time." His smile does not quite reach his eyes but the tension between them is slowly evaporating and she gestures to the counter at the empty glasses. "Dishes?" They move and stand side by side as they perform the rudimentary task.

"Who ever told you, you were ruggedly handsome?"

"A rather boorish Queen said it while doing very devilish things to me once."

Regina thinks back on Little John and Marian locked together in embrace. They had looked happy and content and she wonders if she can again have that too. Again cling to her second chance. "Marian appears to appreciate facial hair."

"Are you saying my stubble is not enough for you, majesty?" quips Robin in mock-hurt rubbing at his chin self-consciously. She whips him with the wet dish rag and he has the good mind to look amused before he grins and grabs a rag of his own.

* * *

It's freezing. Perhaps Regina would be more appreciative of the Snow Queen's interior design choices if she wasn't frozen to the floor and sitting on a high backed chair formed of ice.

"They call you the Evil Queen." Elsa says. The last time they had seen each other in this manner Regina had been no more then seventeen and Elsa already a Queen, who was called a monster by her people.

"They do," she confirms trying to ignore the biting numbness that is settling over her body.

"There is a story there."

"Yes, but we're not here to chit-chat about my exploits we're here to discuss your powers and how to control them."

"They can't be controlled!" The woman wails standing up and blasting Regina and her chair halfway across the room in her anguished fury.

"You've kidnapped me as a bargaining chip to get revenge on Rumpelstilskin, right?" Regina questions as she lays sideways on the floor head spinning.

"Don't be mistaken. I hate you too," the blonde ekes out.

"Fair enough, but let's say that while we wait for the un-Charmings and their brood of heroes to "attempt" to rescue me you at least let me try to help you."

"That's very uncharacteristic of an Evil Queen."

"You'll find that in this realm Elsa I am full of surprises."

* * *

_Longer then usual because it might take me a few days to update and I didn't want to leave you without a taste of jealous Robin, outlaw queen, and Elsa. I hope you enjoyed it.  
_

**Shipper-nut: **I hope that I managed to alleviate your confusion about Regina/Robin/Marian relationship. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

**PrincessofSea: **I hope you continue to enjoy :)


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